I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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