Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Randomize
