Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
only if we run a train.
done.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
