It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
