This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
