my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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