If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
