Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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