You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
