I want to make a zoo with you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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