I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
