i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
