I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
