She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dignity is for republicans.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
