I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize