i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
