I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
In America we eat man semen.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize