what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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