I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
