i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
