That's intense
so explain again why im purple
no
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
