I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
