you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
bring money and cleavage
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize