I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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