I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize