States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
where are my eyebrows?
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