could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Found the puke drawer
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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