I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
