i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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