Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
