i just had sex bonerless
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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