i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
