when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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