I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
