Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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