she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize