i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
