My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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