You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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