her vagine was all disorganized.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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