operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He shit in the fireplace
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Congratulations! We have a period
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize