There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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