He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
