I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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