she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
