i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
