I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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