he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
