Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
no, he came in my armpit
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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