well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
