We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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