Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
