Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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