So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
