I didn't shave. On purpose
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
