it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
