i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize