after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Bring me that man meat
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
