just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
