Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
