You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
