i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Alive.
So much puke
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize