I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize