I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize