dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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