Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
