Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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