took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
