Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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